Reading about our lad John Piper’s latest faff here, reminded me of the post I wrote a while ago about the pressures on men to be something they’re not as anything BUT Jesus. So, its not a response to the author’s encouragement so much as a little reminder of some of what we’ve thought through here in my small corner…
https://meinmysmallcorner.wordpress.com/2009/04/09/conveyor-belt-christianity/
When you discover something new about God, its exciting and challenging and you want to share it, right? Well, this is how you do it for sure…
1. Counteract opposing theologians by publicly and mercilessly tearing apart their logic. That’ll teach them a lesson in humility.
2. Use all sorts of technical language to make people feel small – then they’ll really want to be like you.
3. People sometimes don’t get the chance to think about theology and the Bible as much as you, so mock the ideas they’ve grown up with – that’s definately the way to convince them.
4. Don’t worry about love – sarcasm is undoubtably the best way to show people they’re wrong.
… according to this blog : (Rachel Held Evans)
Man. When reading the different things she links to, I started out boiling with rage, then moved to incredulous laughter (is this guy for real???) and then sadness. *sigh* Its scary that we can get things so, so wrong…
Lord, have mercy.
The day started out fairly normally: eat breakfast, shower, drive into town to find free wifi, pass a 20 year old girl and her mother in the street examining the sex toys in the window of the local ‘high-class’ sex shop, hear said 20 year old girl share with mother which one she particularly enjoys… You know, just the usual.
But it all got a little bit weird around lunchtime when I had to phone Orange to sort out my broken down internet connection. Apparently calling customer service here is not just a matter of waiting in line, but actually it is a test of your French pronunciation and a battle of wits. Orange France do not have your average ‘If you want such-and-such, press 1, or if you need so-and-so, press 2’ – oh no! – Orange France have gone down the ‘If you wish to speak to a customer service advisor, say : “Service clientèle” ‘ route. Hmmm… ok, I’ll try!
So, I made it past the pronunciation stage (yesss!) and then I am presented with the following : “Please state the nature of your problem”. Now, generally the automated-speaking-lady in these sorts of things is programmed to understand certain words and phrases. So that when you top up your electricity with NIE, and automated-speaking-lady asks you to confirm your customer service number, she reads you the number you’ve just typed and says: “To confirm, say ‘yes'”. Simple enough. But not Orange France! Noooooo… they want you to just hazard a guess at the key words automated-speaking-lady going to compute. Errmmm… “L’internet ne fonctionne pas?” or “Internet Orange est un pile de poo?”… I guess that’s maybe easier to work out if French happens to be your first language, but its not exactly conducive to getting things done for a foreigner!
But you’ll be glad to hear that I passed that test too. Eventually…
By this next stage, I’m beginning to wonder if I’ve been set up by some kind of Krypton Factor slash Candid Camera type thing, because a few minutes later, the lady (a real one this time) is telling me to take a knife prise open 6 metallic strips on the filter which was plugged into my phone socket.
“I’m sorry, what? A knife??” (thinking my French ears must’ve gone on holiday)
Oui, Madame, un couteau.
Sérieux??
Oui, Madame, sérieux.
So, there I am, my mobile phone on loudspeaker on the table, hacking away at these metallic strips with a kitchen knife. Which, by the way, did not go so well as the other tasks – Krypton Factor Girl I am Not. After 5 minutes of me muttering and hacking and wondering if they’ll accept liability should I chop off a fingertip in the process, and during which time I’m sure the lady (the real one) is fiddling away with some things on Orange’s end to resolve the real problem, she finally tells me it doesn’t matter and to just plug the freakin thing back into the wall! And lo and behold, she tells me there’s a fault on the line.
No shizz, Sherlock.
Lucky for you, it got sorted and I can update you on these things, eh?
Dinner was on the balcony over discussing some bible reading I hadn’t done, not praying and generally feeling pretty grumpy and pissed off. And then the evening was topped off drinking cider out of a plastic cup down by the river in the dark.
That was my day today.
Just so you know.
That was my day.
Filed under France/French, grrrr..., random, story
1. The project was vastly needed. Broken walls/Ugly wallpaper.
2. The very nature of the opportunity coming about was altogether supernatural. King Artaxerxes had previously forbidden the walls to be rebuilt (Ezra 4) and suddenly he was helping Nehemiah out/I dialled the wrong number and STILL got someone renting a flat with my very specifications (here).
3. The people all pitched in to help. Nehemiah surveyed the damage alone and then proposed the project to Israel’s leaders and soon everyone was rebuilding and excited about doing it/ I saw the apartment (and its disarray) once and then brought friends back to see it again – they got all excited and offered to help.
4. Opposition from without. Nehemiah quickly ran into problems with people wanting to thwart the progress/ It took longer than expected for the landlord to get me the key to the entrance door at the bottom and I had to endure a yelling over the intercom with a friendly neighbour who was getting fed up with letting me in (all of two times. humpff)
5. Opposition from within. The Israelites started getting fed up with building/ I AM GETTING FED UP WITH PAINTING!!!!!!!
6. More opposition from without. Nehemiah and the people are getting somewhere but all sorts of complaints and attempts to stop the work/ I have managed to get internet and phone into my apartment but am still wrestling with the gas company, the electricity company, the gas boiler service company, the kitchen appliance delivery guys, the furniture delivery guys, the weather and I think my neighbours already hate me.
7. The walls get finished, the law is read and they all live happily ever after (more or less!)… Please Lord!!!!????
Filed under France/French, grrrr..., humour, random, story
Its bad news when you have more blogs in your ‘drafts’ section than you do actually published so I think its about time I got back up on here for a rant.
I had a most unexpected chat today with a friend I hadn’t seen in a good while. This friend’s family circumstances are nothing short of heartcrushing. A daughter with profound learning difficulties and a husband who was diagnosed with MS a few years ago who has recently been diagnosed with epilepsy and even more recently severe osteoporosis (with the bones at the top of his spine crumbled to nearly nothing.) and bouts of ill health herself recently.
Often when I think about suffering on the individual/family level (as opposed to worldwide hunger etc), this family’s circumstances come to my mind. I question how and why God could let it all happen to one family? It is frightening the depth to which I am shaken to think that Certain People say that THAT would be God’s will. How the bleep can Certain People say that God gave her those circumstances? That God causes such suffering “for His glory”? Seriously… what kind of bleeping “glory” is that?
It makes me sick.
I asked my friend today how she reconciles all that she is facing with her faith in God, does she see Jesus in the midst of it all? Without a second of hesitation she replied “Oh yes… constantly.” No fake smile, no ‘God knows best’, no ‘there must be a reason’… In fact she claimed that even when she meets Jesus, the last thing she’s gonna care about is ‘reasons’. Her hold on the umbilical cord of her relationship with God is unbroken and unshaken even by circumstances of this life – this life which is significant but by no means the full story.
Her response fills me with hope and beauty and life and faith… is that not the glory? That in, through, above and beyond this world – this life – which is broken and f*cked up, God is… God is! He doesn’t need to inflict suffering to show us what a nightmare things would be without him, how much better off we are or how powerful he is. We don’t need to claim that in order to be ‘good Christians’ or submit to that kind of masochistic “sovereignty” or to show how much we know things are a mess without him… We bloody well know he’s powerful and sovereign and that we need him because God is who He is!
Eugh. I know I’m hardly being very gracious or even coherent, but do you know how popular Certain People are becoming even though this is what they are saying about El Roi ‘The God who sees me’???
(I also wonder what Certain People would say about this family seeing as the wife is the main breadwinner because the husband can’t be?)
I think Certain People should just shut the hell up.
Filed under God, grrrr..., perspective, suffering
my small corner 