Nick & Nora’s Infinite Pile of Poo

If you’re vaguely considering that because you loved ‘Juno’ that you should go and see ‘Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist‘ because Michael Cera the male lead in ‘Juno’ is in this film… Don’t.

Here’s the synopsis we looked at on a certain cinema’ website:

Nick frequents New York’s indie rock scene nursing a broken heart and playing the bass with his queercore band, The Jerk Offs. Norah is questioning pretty much all of her assumptions about the world. Though they have nothing in common except for their taste in music, their chance encounter leads to an all-night quest to find a legendary band’s secret show and ends up becoming a first date that could change both their lives.

Someone got paid (or should have been paid) a lot of money to write that, because I thought the film sounded a pretty decent Friday night switch-off kind of movie.  So my housemate and I trundled off to the local flicks and gave the bandits £11 to watch the biggest pile of poo I’ve seen since ‘Four Christmases‘ (but I expected it with that one).

If you think it can’t be that bad, be it on your own head.  Inconsistant storylines, cheesy modern day train-going-through-a-tunnel euphemisms and a movie that seems to be trying to teach something but no-one’s quite sure what, not even the writers.

All this from someone who is hardly the most informed film critic ever birthed.  But seriously.  Don’t bother.

You’ve been warned.

Plunge right in

Writing is cathartic.

Writing is therapeutic.

Writing can be punchy, poetic or downright gut-wrenching.

Writing conveys the heart, the mind or just the will and a bad grasp of grammar.

A vehicle with which to ride the waves of daily life.

A means by which to give and receive.

A distraction from nothing and everything.

An addiction which keeps you out of bed until your eyes feel dry and heavy, like you might fall asleep with the light on and the page still poised to turn.

Reflections on Getting Old

I spent about six months this year talking about my 27th birthday in order to prepare myself for it.  Somehow 27 sounds soooooooo much older than 26 and it felt a little traumatic.  I’ve never really had trouble with the idea of growing older but the event of 27 shook me!

December came and went and with it my birthday.  It was okay, I survived.  But here are some reasons I’m right to be upset…

1.  I can no longer be in the under 25s category in X Factor.

Now I know that this happened a while ago really, but this year was the first time I actually got into watching the X Factor and therefore my mourning is a little delayed.

2. I can no longer host Blue Peter.

I just turned on the telly and saw the latest Blue Peter presenters and thought: “Gosh, they look awful young”.  Depressing.  Better get rid of that sticky-back plastic stockpile I’ve been building.

3. I can not design a fifty pence piece

This is related to the above.  Blue Peter’s latest competition is pretty cool.  Imagine having your design on the back of a 50p!  Brill.  Not me.  You have to be between the ages of 6 and 12.

Hopefully I’ll be able to compose a counter-active post with reasons why its good to get older sometime soon.  In the meantime,  I’m gonna go do some research about things that get better with age: wood, wine, cheese, wine, wine…

Uncle Billy’s ‘Tache

I have an Uncle Billy.  He has a moustache.  I also have an Uncle Ronnie who also has a moustache, but he lives in Australia, so not that important for the purposes of this post.  He is very lovely though.  I’m not saying that he himself is unimportant…  Come to think of it, my Uncle Tom has a ‘tache too.  Three brothers, three ‘taches.

Anyway.  Uncle Billy.

For as long as I can remember, Uncle Billy has had a moustache.  It is not altogether unbecoming, nor is it particularly flattering, but it is what it is – Uncle Billy’s moustache.  And without it, his face would look empty (even more so seeing as he’s also stopped wearing his glasses).

A recent discussion of ‘keep it or shave it?’ in regards to the ‘tache of a member of my church and a cover story on my hotmail homepage has made moustaches the topic du jour and, well, I’m currently procrastinating from talk preparation so absolutely HAD to blog about it!

If I could grow facial hair, my natural curiosity means I couldn’t possibly go through life without giving it a go for a while (I may not have a choice in forty or so years.) So I imagine its only natural for a young man to embrace the hairier life for a time (see here for top tips), perhaps never looking back.

Thinking about Uncle Billy and numerous men of his generation, makes me wonder about their technique…  Did they not shave for a while, then lose the chinfluff?  Or did they just not shave the upper lippal region, allowing the ‘tache to creep up on the general public like a mexican caterpillar with a penchant for ginger highlights?  And once it was there, how long did it take for it to become part of their face so that if it were removed they’d look empty?

Most importantly, if Uncle Billy can do it, why can’t Brad Pitt?

Food for Thought…

It may surprise some of my more familiar readership that I can cook.  I don’t always particularly revel in the task, often chucking some pasta and sauce in the oven does of an evening meal.  But this is one meal I and my (slightly obsessed with ‘pretty’ food) housemate particularly enjoy  having ‘created’ and would greatly recommend you try.  Particularly if you’re a bit cook-lazy like me!  You basically stick it in the oven and do some last minute stir-frying after sitting on your bum for 15 minutes!

Lime & Ginger Salmon parcels with stir-fried chinese veg and noodles for two.

Buy fresh salmon fillets, making each into a foil parcel with a wedge of butter, half the juice of a lime for each, place some shredded ginger on top and finish off with a slice of lime.  Seal the foil parcels and cook in the oven for about 15-20mins at about 200 degrees Celsius.

Stir fry the veg (we cheat and use m&s chinese veg pack inc carrots, babycorn, broccoli, spring onions, mange tout and pakchoi – i suggest that peppers would interfere with the overall flavour-effect,  but each to their own!) in balsamic vinegar and stir in egg-fried noodles and pine nuts. This bit only takes about 5 minutes toward the end of the salmon’s cooking time.

Whack the cooked Salmon on a bed of the noodles and veg and drizzle over the buttery-limey-gingery goodness from the foil parcel.

Serve on piping-hot plates as the stir fry can cool pretty quickly!

And enjoy!