Preach it, sister!

Sunday afternoon I was at a church service where a woman preached and kicked butt!

It was wonderful.  I think it might be the first time I’ve been in your ordinary ‘run-of-the-mill’ context (rather than a conference I mean) and have been not only engaged and impressed by a woman’s preaching but also touched and ministered to in a very real way.  No offence if any of you women reading think I’ve heard you preach by the way – sorry!  But I’m pretty sure this is the only time it has happened in a church service.

I think I’m probably always rooting for a woman speaker to be great, and I have heard others who are good and have definite potential to be great.  But I think the difference here was that this woman seemed experienced. She seemed to truly enjoy what she was doing, rather than it being under some kind of “I-grew-up-being-told-I-could-never-do-this-but-now-I’m-being-told-I-can-so-I’m-damn-well-giving-it-a-shot-(please-don’t-shoot-me)” pressure to try.

Roll on the days when more women are experienced in this field!  Roll on the days when more women are given the freedom to enjoy these kinds of gifts!  Roll on the day when…

Oh, no, wait… Let’s not ruin this with a sarcastic, ungracious comment about Certain People.

😉

Preach it, sister!

*sigh*

Reading about our lad John Piper’s latest faff here, reminded me of the post I wrote a while ago about the pressures on men to be something they’re not as anything BUT Jesus.  So, its not a response to the author’s encouragement so much as a little reminder of some of what we’ve thought through here in my small corner…

 

https://meinmysmallcorner.wordpress.com/2009/04/09/conveyor-belt-christianity/

Who’s in charge here?

You’ll not be surprised that this small corner should link to a blogpost like this about submission in marriage…

http://www.emergingmummy.com/2012/01/in-which-love-looks-like-real-marriage.html

Apology

Four friends in a prayer square – all linked in different capacities and depths, but linked all the same.  One trusted the others because of the others.

They were beautiful, these four girls – beautiful with a vulnerability that came and went as they struggled with fear, inadequacy, guilt, desire…  Thoughts and feelings both expected and unexpected in women.  Beautiful with a depth of honesty not many shared and they shared with few others.  Beautiful.

And I was one of them.  Valued and loved, heard and known, seen and unseen.  I don’t think its arrogance to say we were beautiful – beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I hold them in my ‘I’.

Its been a while since these four met – or at least since this one met with those three.  Much has happened, continues to happen, while I – removed from them – have happenings of my own that wrap me up in myself.  Not so pretty.

Guilt and I are not friends – I will not have coffee with him, nor will I lie with him, not even hold hands.  Though sometimes we bump into each other – a fleeting glance that makes me sad.  Sorrowful until I remember my true friend Forgiveness, also known as Love, Truth, Jesus.

Forgive me, friends, for what I have left unknown, unacknowledged, unheard, unmet, unheld…and come, there are many days to tell, much dreaming to do, old demons to face and new life to meet.

(December 2008)

Esther

“For such a time as this” is the most quoted line from this little Old Testament book.  As I picked it up tonight, after exfoliating and moisturising my face and scrutinising my flaws in the mirror, I wondered what a story about a beauty pageant winner might have to tell me.

Reading the story from Peterson’s The Message translation (is that the right word for it?) certainly helps with the flow of this little récit about a shaky moment in Israel’s history.  I had never realised before that King Xerxes’s reason (or rather that fed to him and enflamed by his advisors) for banishing and essentially divorcing his wife Queen Vashti were so sexist.

After days of revelry and drunkenness, Xerxes decides he’d like to show off his beautiful trophy-wife in front of all his mates.  She refuses.  We could elegise Vashti and say it was because she did not want to demean herself or whatever, but I’d say it could equally be because she was concerned with her own girly party and was looking worse for wear, or couldn’t be bothered getting changed…!  But anyway.  Her refusal is seen as an affront to Xerxes’ authority and ownership of her – the King can’t control his own wife?!?  The men (some probably trying not to snigger behind their hands) terrify the King that the whole land of women will be in uproar and will be disobeying their husbands right left and centre!

So Queen Vashti is punished – they make an example of her in order to keep the whole nation of women subordinate to their husbands.

Suddenly this ‘story about a beauty pageant’ got more interesting to me…

Its nearly bedtime so I’m not gonna spend ages pontificating about this, but here is what struck me…  Firstly I can almost smell the boorishness of Xerxes and his buddies – not an unfamiliar scent even today.  Secondly, Xerxes’ wife was the least of his problems – it was the power his reputation in the eyes of his male friends had over him that would worry me!  Third, the desire for control, absolute control, over people (in this case women in particular) and their behaviour in relation to one’s own desired state of affairs.  And four – the role of ‘fearful what-ifs’ in making a complete shambles of a situation.

Fast forward to Esther’s reign as queen.  It seems to me that her power and influence grows stronger – she seems to have been given a place in decisions that matter.  Is it that Xerxes was madly in love with her?  Was he under her power because of her beauty?  Or was it that she had proved herself as capable and righteous because of her petition on behalf of her people?  Did he have more respect for her character and goodness?  Was he listening less to those eejits he’d had around him before?  Who knows.

I like that Esther had more influence and that she is hailed for her courage and faithfulness in ‘such a time as this’ is good and right.  But I can’t help but notice that there’s a rather bloody end to this tale…

Once the order to exterminate the Jews was revoked, the King had granted them the right to arm and defend themselves should anyone have missed or disobeyed the revoke.  Fair enough… But suddenly the land becomes a blood bath!  The Jews kill 75,000 people!  Rather than it being a defensive “this-guy-came-to-my-house-to-kill-my-children-so-i-clunked-him-one”, it became a “I’m-a-Jew-yeoo-I-will-kill-you-because-you-hate-me-grrrr”.  The cull might have been half that number, but Esther asks the King to allow the killing to go on for another day.  What the flip??!!

I can’t help but notice that before this request to the King, there is no three days of fasting and prayer.

So, as I head off to get my beauty sleep… What have I learned from this story?  It could take a while to refine, but it seems to me that given a little bit of power, men and women can be complete idiots.

Thank God for grace.

Biblical Manhood and Womanhood

Having already rocked this small corner with posts about these things, it would be remiss of me not to pass on the link first found at FaithinIreland to Shored Fragments’s post here about the above subject.  Let me know what you think!

A conversation about what women want

“Hey Small Corner…? What DO women want?” said the man.

Hmmm…

“To know and be known.” replied Small Corner.

The problem with being single – 2.5: Sometimes you lose your voice

The ole stats have been low of late ( 😉 ), so thought I’d post something to make you sit up and pay attention…!  Couldn’t quite decide if this was number 3 of this series as technically the first one I called ‘Mark II ‘ was a cop out, then secondly I posted an edited version of  the original post so anyway… 2.5…

Was chatting to a married friend recently who was articulating some of the things I have long felt niggling at the back of my mind about Christian men.  It was a breath of fresh air to hear her talk so freely about some of the wrong attitudes men appear to have when it comes to dating because you see, the problem with being single is that sometimes you lose your voice.

It was okay for her to comment on the tendancy of Christian men to choose partners first (if not wholly) on consideration of physical attractiveness before going on to consider character; it was okay for her to comment on how often Christian men shy away from any woman who could hold her own in a debate (theological or otherwise), build her own flat-pack furniture or earn a greater salary than he.  It was okay for her because its clear that she’s speaking up for others as she herself is happily married.

Somehow it doesn’t feel okay for me to say those things.  Somehow it sounds self-serving and bitter and sad.  In my worse moments, perhaps it is self-serving and bitter, but in the depths of my gut I truly long for men and women to know and love each other as God has made them.  Too often women feel the need to lose weight, buy clothes, shut up, dumb down in order to be considered as dateable never mind marriagable.  Too often we’re compelled to be someone other than our true selves.

I don’t just long for that for women, this is not just a ‘women’s issue’.  I also long that men would so set aside their own fear of not matching up to the world’s standards in their relationships and achievements that they could truly begin to live in love and partnership with women.

But I’d never say that without great fear and trepidation because the problem with being single is that sometimes you lose your voice.

An interesting read…

Thanks to hoveactually for linking to this…

Models of Masculinity

An interesting and timely addition to my thoughts and blog-musings…

Conveyor Belt Christianity

Its been a while since I’ve posted anything particularly controversial.  And, if I’m honest – I’m not really all that fond of controversy – its a bit scary.  Particularly when people can take it and use one thing to mean a whole bunch of stuff that you don’t…  But I wrote the following post a while ago and saved it until such time as I felt like posting it.  Its not a definitive statement so much as a series of questions and ponderings around an issue often perused in my small corner…

Now, I’m not claiming to have this all right, nor am I claiming to have thought it all through perfectly… But…

Teaching young men that they are to bulk up and become strong leaders of family, of church, of the world does not, in my humble opinion, teach grace.  Affirming the male stereotype of being in control, having the last word, not stopping to ask for directions is insidious and unhelpful. “Come on boys, just try harder…”

It just doesn’t sound like Jesus.

It seems to me that even if the ‘complementarian different-but-equals’ are right, their view of equality is somewhat skewed.  If their view of equality is in any way close to actually being equality, it is often undermined by how it all plays out.  I had dinner with a family from this theological standpoint – my opinion on a certain matter was not so much shot down as flatly ignored whilst the wife was ‘jokingly’ told to get back to the kitchen.  If the role of a woman in the home is really truly considered so important, I don’t understand how making disparaging remarks about tying her to the sink is respectful of this ‘god-given’ role?  Humour does nothing to build up, but belittles and trivialises tasks that countless women have devoted their lives to for years.  On top of that, most women just roll their eyes and take it, laughing along – many for fear of being ridiculed for expressing any concern at the injustice of it, many not even recognising the disrespect of it.

In a country where many struggle against the flow of culture to create a right sense of identity as a child of God, many young men are drawn to the most confident voice proclaiming the most comfortable suit of armour to don.

“A real man takes responsibility, a real man leads, a real man pees standing up…”

I’m not saying that a man shouldn’t be responsible, nor that women should be the ultimate authority, I’m saying there’s very little room for true community, true body-of-Christ community.  “Me Hand.  Me make fire.  Me Big Boss.  You be like Me.”

It just doesn’t sound like Jesus.

It sounds like conveyor-belt Christianity – “No, no – don’t be like you, be like me.”  It happens all over the Church in all sorts of areas with all sorts of implications.  I suppose its easier to rubber stamp ourselves with the image of others than to wait on the Holy Spirit to make us more like Jesus.