Hypocrite…

So, whilst I declared that if I ruled the world there would be no Bebo, I omitted the latest, more international Facebook.

And now I’m sucked in.

Apart from being pleased that I’ve had contact from a few people I’ve not seen in a while, I have just been freaked out to discover four hideous photos of me ‘tagged’ and therefore linked to my page – WHERE I SPECIFICALLY PUT ZERO PHOTOS! Oh. My. Days.

What have I DOOOONNNNNNEEEE?????

Lonely Heart

I put my heart into a box

Its bubble-wrapped and double-locked.

The box I put into a room

Where its hidden by the gloom,

The room is down a lengthy hall

Behind locked doors and sturdy walls,

The hall is in a shut-up house

Where nothing enters or comes out,

The house is on a one-way street

Where love and sorrow cannot meet,

The street is in a far-off town

Where neither pride or hurt are found,

The town is in a secret land

Where no-one can misunderstand,

The land is in another place

Where no-one ever speaks of grace
…

But its very lonely there.

easyGrace.com

Having managed to survive the crush of over-eager travellers “queuing” to get through the flight gate, I walk, somewhat dishevelled but triumphantly and in an orderly fashion toward the plane door. In my peripheral vision I see a pristine traveller with BIG hair and manicured talons strutting her way up the left hand side of the queue. Bare-faced cheek!

Cue slow innard boiling…

With a nonchalant toss of her bleached hair, she thrusts her over sized tote bag back and her heavily padded chest forward as she slinks innocently up the queue without even a wobble on her impossibly high stiletto heels. But I – in the latest imitation Converse trainers, a Mark de Pri backpack bursting inelegantly at the seams and a top stained by lunch (this isn’t just a food stain, this is an M&S food stain…) – I am Unintimidated. Many years of silent queue battles have prepared me for a time such as this.

Eyes narrow, heartrate quickens, insides burn…

Almost imperceptibly I angle my body so as not to meet her icy ‘Dare-to-challenge-me’ stare, and, making my body as wide as possible: hip to the side, foot forward, elbows firmly out, I rise to the challenge. I anticipate her every step: sidestep, baby step, left block, hip shift right, gentle nudge… Justice will prevail.

Moments later, I – Conqueror (disdainful and unspoken insults blistering my tongue) – step onto the plane. Selecting my seat, I settle down for the flight, congratulating myself for handling the monstrous ordeal with such silent grace…

Hungarian Ghoulash

Well, I’m just about to exchange the wonders of the north coast for the wonders of the hungarian forest… To be honest, I’m more than a little concerned about ticks (they BURROW into your FLESH, for goodness’ sake!) and the news stories about 500 hungarian people dying of heat in the past few weeks does little assuage the rising panic…

Spoke to JM – he seems to think Formacion is meant to be a retreat-type thing as well as leadership training – let’s hope so. If its not too busy a program, I can spend all the more time inspecting every square millimeter of my flesh for intruders!

Hehehehehhe… okay, okay, I’m a drama queen. I’m actually really looking forward to the adventure! Plus, the chance to take a few days holiday in Budapest after the conference is very appealing.

If you’re of the praying sort, you could bring up the following things:

• no ticks please!!!!
• no heatstroke please?!?
• real encounters with God through this unique community please!
• true rest and restoration from the Good Shepherd please!

Thankin thee kindly.