A while ago I spent an evening with a friend I hadn’t seen for a while, just hanging out and chatting. She was sharing with me that she’d been thinking recently about friendship. What makes a good friend? What makes ME a good friend?
The conversation has been playing on my mind ever since and a couple of stories have come to mind…
Number one… In my second year of uni, I shared a house with a few girls, one of whom I was particularly close to and another of which particularly did my head in! Unfortunately, my annoyance with the latter was thinly veiled and the former called me out on it. At the time it was incredibly painful, being confronted with my own ugly heart, but yet I count it as an heroic act of true friendship as my friend fought – not only for my heart, but also for the wellbeing of the other friend. The end result was a lesson learned and an enduring sense of love and care towards both housemates!
Number two… A much more ‘normal’ example, fewer tears and less glamour… An old school friend who I’d sort of lost touch with during uni who got back in touch with me, took hold of our friendship and hasn’t let go. Despite my rubbish contact-keeping, my hopeless text replying and my laziness in face of organising a social life during some serious change and after organising a week of meetings, this friend has pursued me and taught me the importance of intentional time spending. Not just benefitting her, but mostly keeping me sane and keeping my head firmly out of my backside. Now this friend has just become a mummy and its my turn to support her in the midst of serious life-change… and its a pleasure.
Number three is not so much a story as a general… eh… ‘smell’. I have another friend who I met at uni. We’re maybe not the best at keeping in contact sometimes, but things never change – I know that wherever or whenever we hang out, that she’ll always be someone who feels like home: someone who knows me and accepts me in all my quirks, someone who’ll make me laugh, laugh at me and with me… Its great to feel safe with her – not because she won’t ever say anything hard, but because she’s always honest and real about me and about herself and that is precious. Plus, when she says she’ll do something – whether its visit or pray or climb a mountain – she does it.
What about you? What stories do you have that define friendship for you…?