So, this afternoon I ended up having to have quite a difficult conversation with someone. Can’t go into too much detail, but things about the conversation had exhausted me, unsettled me and gave me some reasons to feel fearful enough to want to put some things in place to protect myself.
There I am, sitting in my car, playing it all over in my head, worrying about stuff and wanting to crawl into bed to escape, my finger hovering over my phone wondering who I could call. I’m feeling weighed down, like I just can’t face the people-work I have to do tonight, wishing that the person who was meant to call me back had called… Next thing my phone rings. It just comes up as a number (as I recently lost my phone in an unfortunate moment), so I think its maybe the phone call I’d been waiting for.
But no… it was my long-lost American friend. We haven’t spoken in maybe over a year – the only contact having been a series of ‘so-sorry-its-been-so-long’ Facebook messages about 2 months ago. There was no conceivable reason she should phone. And, to be honest my heart kinda sank because I was far from the appropriate mood for catch-up chat.
“Hi” she says, “How are you?”
I give a slight groan and think about how to answer that…
“Only its just…” she continues, “…I just very suddenly out of nowhere felt like I needed to call you. Like, not that I should call you someday, but that I should call you, like NOW. URGENTLY. Are you okay?”
My answer flowed out in grateful tears.