(Remember I’m a closet goody two-shoes and the title will not mislead)
I love to chat and dream about changing lives and by extension, the world. I love to think about the way things could be ‘if only…’ and inspire others to think about similar things. I love to feel so passionate that I could just break down and cry for love and excitement about something or bounce up and down like a loon.
But, I also hate it.
I hate discontent because it brings frustration when others don’t (or won’t) engage; boredom with the status quo; depression over the lack of change…
Reminded tonight that our culture is one which only enjoys things if they happen immediately – fast food, miracle diets, next-day delivery. We’re not used to waiting anymore, not used to working to see results. I am realising that I’ve been sucked right in.
So I swing from elation to despair, because I see how it could be but get bogged down when no-one else is getting inspired by the vision, and no change is visible. I could scream with the sheer frustration of it all.
My comfort tonight is that Jesus knows how I feel:
Mark ch 8:
14The disciples had forgotten to bring bread, except for one loaf they had with them in the boat. 15“Be careful,” Jesus warned them. “Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.”
16They discussed this with one another and said, “It is because we have no bread.”
17Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked them: “Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened? 18Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear? And don’t you remember? 19When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?”
“Twelve,” they replied.
20“And when I broke the seven loaves for the four thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?”
They answered, “Seven.”
21He said to them, “Do you still not understand?”
But change comes slowly by slowly and I’ll just have to wait. Perhaps tomorrow I will dream again.
This is all getting very serious, isn’t it? Have a look at this to lighten the mood.